


Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart (Is All I Want)

by anephemeralmind



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 22:30:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17876057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anephemeralmind/pseuds/anephemeralmind
Summary: Timmy tries to break up with him, but Armie won't let him give up on them so quickly.





	Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart (Is All I Want)

**Author's Note:**

> I probably don't have to say this, but I'm going to, just in case, seeing as this deals with a bit of a sensitive issue. This is as fake as Kim Kardashian's ass, okay? And it's in no way meant to cast aspersions on Armie's marriage in any way shape or form, it's literally just fiction.

They’re lying in bed, sweat-soaked and breathing heavily, sharing a cigarette, after what can only be described as some of the best sex they’ve had in a while. Which is why it takes Armie a little by surprise when Timmy, instead of handing the cigarette back to him, stubs it out in the ashtray and sits up, rubbing his eyes with a sigh.

“I can’t do this anymore.” He whispers, and Armie’s heart sinks.

Determined to not let Timmy ruin their afterglow, he tries to play it off as a joke, in the hopes of Timmy laughing it off and deciding to drop it. “Do what? Smoke after sex?”

But Timmy just shakes his head, and looks over at him with sad, red rimmed eyes, that were rapidly filling up with tears.

“No, Armie, this. Us. I can’t…” He cuts himself off with a sigh, shaking his head, looking down at his hands as he picked at the skin around his nails.

Armie reaches a hand out to still his movement, and brings Timmy's hands over into his lap, carefully stroking the back of Timmy’s palm with the tips of his fingers. Trying to soothe and comfort him like he would a frightened animal.

“I don’t understand. What happened? Timmy, baby, what changed?”

Timmy shakes his head again, and a couple of tears run down his cheeks. “Nothing, that’s just the thing, _nothing’s_ changed.”

“I still don’t understand.” Armie tilts his head in confusion, feeling his heart start to break as Timmy pulls away from him, crossing his arms in front of himself.

“You’re _married,_ Armie. You shouldn’t be here with me, like this.” He gestures between their naked bodies, and the lube and the packet of condoms still laying at the bottom of the bed.

“I was married when we started this, Timmy.”

Timmy nods, sucking in a breath, and Armie doesn’t understand why it’s suddenly something that needed to be brought up now, as if it was brand new information, when it really, really, wasn’t. It’s not like he’d ever tried to keep his marriage from Timmy, he’d very much known, from day one, exactly what it was he signed up for.

“I know. But I can’t keep betraying Elizabeth like this, I can’t. It’s not… It’s not fair. And, yes, of course I’ve always known you were married, but, Armie, when we started this, it was never supposed to be,  _this.”_

Timmy looks at him with sorrow and heartbreak in his eyes, making it real hard for Armie to not reach out and pull him in for a hug, to take all the pain he was feeling away. But he couldn’t do that, because right now, _he_ was the cause of that pain, and Timmy didn’t want to be with him anymore. And he just… He doesn't understand why, and it's breaking _his_ heart, too.

“I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you, that was never a part of the deal. Because, we agreed, when you visited me that first time after Crema, remember? The first time we slept together?”

“Of course I remember, Timmy, how could I ever forget? That first time with you? It was one of the best days of my life.” Armie tries to reach out for Timmy’s hands again, but he pulls them away at the last second, scooting back a little on the bed, keeping himself just out of reach.

“Then you also remember what we said, after. That us having sex didn’t have to be a major thing, that it didn’t have to change us, it could just be a way to relieve stress and make the pressure of our upcoming press tour a little less daunting. Because we’d have each other, and when things got to be too much, we’d just fuck it out.” Timmy lets out a humorless chuckle, scratching his Adam’s apple. “And we also said, that when the press tour was over, we’d go back to just being friends.”

Armie nods his head in agreement, because yes, he definitely remembers them saying those things, he still doesn’t really get Timmy’s point though. “Yeah? So? It worked, didn’t it?” He shrugs, and Timmy just shakes his head at him with a sad smile on his face.

“Yeah, that’s just the thing though, Armie. Did it? Because, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the press tour has been over for more than a year now, and yet we’re still doing this. And you can’t say it’s just to alleviate stress anymore.” Armie smiles sheepishly at him, nodding his head again, because he’s right. Of course he’s right. It hasn’t been about stress relief, or whatever other stupid excuse they’d come up with back then, for a long time. “Exactly, yeah, I _love_ you, Armie. So much. I really do.”

“I know, baby, and I love you too. So why…” Armie looks to Timmy, hoping to hear a real reason as to why he’s suddenly breaking up with him. Because so far, nothing is making any sense, if they’re in love with each other, why not stay together?

“I know you love me, Armie, I do, and that’s exactly why I can’t do this anymore. It’s not fair to Elizabeth, and it’s not fair to me. You can’t have us both, and deep down I think you know that.”

“Are you…” Armie whispers, practically choking on the words, but forcing them out all the same. “Timmy, are you asking me to leave my wife for you?”

“No!” Timmy shakes his head, eyes wide. “I would never do that, Armie, no.” He sends him a sad smile and Armie nods, still not really sure what to make of all this.

Timmy sighs and wraps his arms around himself, and Armie really fucking wishes that those could be his arms, that he could be the one holding Timmy. And right now, that's _all_ he wants. He wishes so badly that this conversation wasn't happening, so he could hold on to Timmy, and never let him go.

“I’m not stupid enough to think you’d ever choose me over her.” Timmy says with a sad chuckle, and Armie feels his eyebrows climb on his forehead, because, what? “Your whole life is with her, you have a family together, kids. So no. I’m not asking you to make a choice, Armie, I’m telling you that I have made mine. And I’m choosing to let you go.”

“No.” Armie says clearly, with a shake of his head. “No.”

“What do you mean, _no_?” Timmy asks, staring at him with wide, confused eyes. “You don’t get to say no.”

“The fuck I do.” Armie scoffs. “If you think I’m gonna let you throw away what we have without fighting for it, you’ve got another thing coming. Timmy, I _love_ you.”

“I know you do.” Timmy says with another one of those sad smiles, and Armie scoffs again, rolling his eyes, because Timmy wasn’t fucking listening to him. He didn’t need to be fucking patronized right now, he needed to be _heard_.

“I don’t think you do, not really. If you did, you wouldn’t be saying these things to me right now. Timmy, what I have with you? It means everything to me. _You_ mean everything to me.”

“I love you too, I really do, but… You’re still married, Armie, so something’s gotta give.” Timmy shrugs, nervously biting his bottom lip as he looks up at Armie, eyes welling up with tears again, making Armie’s heart tear itself to pieces.

“And I’d much rather back out now, and spend these next six months away filming, trying to get over you, instead of letting things go back to the way they’ve always been – where we’re hiding from everyone, and I’m surviving off of tiny breadcrumbs of affection from you in public, greedily taking everything I can get in back rooms and hotel rooms rented under fake aliases – where I’m living in constant fear of Elizabeth finding out about us, and taking your children, your whole fucking life, away from you, all because of me.” Timmy whispers the last part, wiping at his eyes to try and stop the tears from falling, but failing miserably.

“Oh for…” Armie sucks in a deep breath, and releases it slowly, shaking his head as a smile starts to spread on his face. “Timmy, baby, I don’t think you’re hearing me. If being with you, and getting to keep you in my life, means I have to leave my wife, then I’ll do that. For us, I will.”

“No, Armie. Don’t say that.” Timmy breathes out, furiously shaking his head and putting his hands over his ears as if that could stop what Armie just said from properly reaching his brain. Armie just raises an eyebrow at him, and shrugs one of his shoulders.

“Why not?”

“Because…” Timmy trails off, his mouth keeps moving, but there’s no sound coming out. At least not until he makes eye contact with Armie, and he can see the steely determination in them, as Timmy quietly says the next few words. “She’s your _family.”_

“She’s not though, and she hasn’t been for quite some time now.” Armie smiles, reaching out for Timmy’s hands, and this time, Timmy doesn’t pull away, but he lets Armie slowly thread their fingers together, one by one. Both of them holding their breaths the entire time, until Armie lifts their entwined hands up to his mouth, and kisses the back of Timmy’s palm. “My family, my home? It’s here with you.”

Timmy sucks in a breath, and blinks away a couple of tears, staring into Armie’s eyes, and knowing him, he’s probably looking for a sign that Armie’s is lying to him. But let him look, he was never going to find it, because Armie had never been more sure of anything in his life.

“Armie… What’re you saying?” Timmy asks quietly, as if he’s afraid that if he’ll speak too loudly, this will all come crashing down around them.

“I’m saying, you might not have asked me to choose, but I’m making the choice anyway. And I choose you, Timmy. I’ll always choose you. I love you.” Armie watches as Timmy’s face lights up, smiles at the way his eyes go bright and full of life again, and he feels his heart grow about three sizes.

But then, as always, Timmy’s anxiety must set in, making him doubt everyone and everything. Including himself.

“But…” He starts, and Armie immediately interrupts him with a kiss, smiling against Timmy’s lips as all the tension leaves his body as he kisses Armie back.

“No, Timmy, no buts.” Armie says with a smile when he pulls back from the kiss, rubbing Timmy’s bottom lip with his thumb.

“And before you start blaming yourself for breaking up my marriage, don’t. It’s not your fault, it’s not anyone’s fault, really. We always knew this was coming.” Armie shrugs, and at Timmy’s raised eyebrow, he continues. “Me and Liz, we’ve been heading for a divorce for a long time now, even before Crema. If not for… If it hadn’t been for her getting pregnant, we’d probably be divorced already, but we decided to give it another go, for the sake of the baby.”

Timmy opens his mouth to speak, but Armie shakes his head, pulling Timmy into his arms and resting his chin on top of his head.

“All this time, being with you, I… It just proved to me how far apart we’d actually managed to end up, you know? There’s… There’s nothing left of the people we were when we fell in love, she knows it, and I know it, and now the time has come to finally say it out loud – to set us both free.”

“I’m sorry, Armie.” Timmy whispers into his neck, and Armie releases his hold on him, scooting back to be able to fully look him in the eyes.

However, Timmy doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to meet his gaze, seemingly content to keep staring at the sheets, so Armie reaches out and gently holds his chin between his thumb and index finger, tilting his head up.

When their eyes finally meet, Armie smiles wider than he probably has in years, and captures Timmy’s lips in another kiss.

“I’m not. I have you, don’t I?” Armie whispers as they separate, and Timmy nods.

Timmy kisses him again, and whispers against Armie’s lips. “Yeah, of course you do.”

“Then it’ll all be worth it.”

**Author's Note:**

> The working title for this was I choose you, Pikachu. So you know, that's how great I am at angst. 
> 
> I wasn't even supposed to write this, I was supposed to make dinner, so now I'm starving. Hopefully my sacrifices were worth it, and you enjoyed this little thing ❤️❤️❤️


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